haley behuniak

haleybehuniak: i do not find this picture attractive. i find...

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:32:00 -0500

i do not find this picture attractive. i find it horribly ugly.
it shows the person i chose to be these past twelve months
i was such an ugly person, i am not focusing on myself just physically.
i was an ugly person.
i did horrible things and i hurt too many people.
i was selfish and cruel. and bitter. and hurt. and lonely. and scared.

i want to forget it all but i know that i can’t.
this year changed me. i can’t change that.
i just want to learn, take from everything that brought me here.
i am going to change, i am going to learn and i’m going to forgive.
i am going to forgive myself for being so ugly this year.

Photo

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:21:48 -0500

i need to grow up. why is it so hard to talk to you like this.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:20:36 -0500

i need to grow up. why is it so hard to talk to you like this.

foreveryoung21: (via tiresome)

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:14:57 -0500

foreveryoung21:

(via tiresome)

my 2009... revised

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:12:51 -0500

january; cold. i remember being cold all the time. i barely worked. i didn’t do much of anything. everything was just really cold

febuary; hurt. everything hurt. five miles a day. peaches, spinach and cofee. mirrors hurt. everything at that point seemed to kill some part of me.

march; sick. i was really sick. this was the worst month of my life. my mind and body were not one. they weren’t attached. nothing was attached.

april; work. i started working more. this saved my year.

may; boy. i hadn’t liked a boy in over a year. who is he? why don’t i know him.

june; him. i still don’t know him. this is stupid. i won’t even talk to him. but i like something there. i went away, martha’s vineyard. tried to convince my parents to let me move to kansas, failed.

july; talked. i finally talked to him. and i still worked. a lot. a lot. i loved it. but the heat was horrible and i hated those hot summer nights that never seemed to end.

august; thoughts. too many thoughts, too many people in my head. why hasn’t he noticed me still? mistakes. no regrets. i learned to take something from everything.

september; 17. spent my birthday in boston. had atl’s the party scene playing in my head all day. i still worked a lot. too much. he still hasn’t noticed.

october; tired. i was tired. tired of working. tired of thinking, planning. tired of caring. tired of trying. alex got a car. we ate too many pancakes and spent all those fall nights driving around back roads late listening to the devil and god are raging inside me. he finally noticed me. we finally started talking. finally.

november; mistaken. i was mistaken who he was. he wont stop talking to me. he’s not what i thought. i don’t like him. this isn’t right. i stopped working so much. found time to breathe. met a new boy. i’m not sure. i’d never laid around with a boy all night long.

december; never. i had never been kissed. i’m sure it was horrible. “i’m sorry, i just don’t know what i’m doing”. everything is so complicated, confusing, but refreshing. and tiring. everything worth it is always tiring. i relate every song that i love to soemone i know. he owns too many songs in my head.

thinkofsomething: aseriesofserendipities: ohholyghost:funeral:s...

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 20:34:24 -0500

thinkofsomething:

aseriesofserendipities:

ohholyghost:funeral:smalltownwitch:goodluckspider:deadgirls:rabbyte:pitusinha:antichocolatofobica:cammmpo:(via inujita)

thingsgohazy: (via nostalgicdreams)

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:30:41 -0500

thingsgohazy:

(via nostalgicdreams)

foreveryoung21: (via chocolate-cigarettes)

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:47:59 -0500

foreveryoung21:

(via chocolate-cigarettes)

formspring

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:21:50 -0500

formspring

(via fuckyeahskinnybitch)

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:11:31 -0500

(via fuckyeahskinnybitch)

thinkofsomething: (via hymendestroyer)

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:25:46 -0500

thinkofsomething:

(via hymendestroyer)

doctorplease: (via iamuntitled)

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 10:30:27 -0500

doctorplease:

(via iamuntitled)

(via thingsgohazy) i could spend my entire life in the nook of...

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:50:57 -0500

(via thingsgohazy)

i could spend my entire life in the nook of your neck as the morning light seeps in.

Make This Right

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:49:56 -0500

dearoldlove:

Every part of me aches for you. I wish there was a way to make this right.

How About a Hand

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:28:52 -0500

dearoldlove:

I don’t know how, to not want, to hold your hand.

I still wonder what today would be like if you were still around.

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:12:06 -0500

trendsandmakebelieve:

everymomentcounts:

itsnothingpersonal:

khallelalaine:

(via hannuhbuhnana)

sslovespink: thelovelybones: unicornheadphones:pork2k:lendmeatr...

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:03:40 -0500

sslovespink:

thelovelybones:

unicornheadphones:pork2k:lendmeatreble:meysell:lesson9:zombieslutfromhell:teenagekatgirl:
lagartazul:synecdoche:delawareareyou:darkofmatinee

sslovespink: alwaysmemberneverforget: I will improve myself: physically and emotionally. I will...

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:02:25 -0500

sslovespink:

alwaysmemberneverforget:

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

I will improve myself: physically and emotionally.

prettypinkshoes:onthewing:jennlennon:serpentsbeneaththeirhoods:

paulina: carnalknowledge:(via papertissue)

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:17:42 -0500

paulina:

carnalknowledge:(via papertissue)

foreveryoung21: hallofmirrors: flickflickflicker:(via...

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:16:11 -0500

foreveryoung21:

hallofmirrors:

flickflickflicker:(via comeincostume)